Welcome weary traveller!
You have come along way... well from Scotland... and now here you are in the land of the Rising Sun as the Scotland National Rugby Team's cultural attache for the duration of the Rugby World Cup 2019. Don't worry about how it happened. Just accept that it has.
There really is no need to worry. Whilst your task is to keep the team, coaches and various other dignitaries etc. safe and entertained nothing of note ever happens and so this will be a peaceful time mostly spent googling where you can get four buckets of chicken wings for WP Nel at 3am in rural Japan.
It's the first night in Japan and Scotland head coach Gregor "Toony" Townsend takes you out for dinner to make you feel at ease and give you a briefing on what he wants from you in the coming weeks.
As his cultural attache he asks you to choose from the menu. He's sure you've researched Japanese cuisine as part of your preparations for the trip and trusts your choice.
You check out the menu then look up and say...
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